Monday, April 2, 2012

Thoughts of Home



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Home is supposed to be a haven: a refuge from the world.  Home is where you enjoy your family and friends while celebrate life's achievements, both big and small.  Home is where you rear your children and make memories. Home should be a comfort, not a burden.  But what happens when you live in a neighborhood where someone has done something terrible in the community?  Or when a troubled neighbor asks impossible things from you? How do you handle a neighbor who is always asking you to borrow money? Have you ever felt a sense of dread while driving through your neighborhood on your way home?  What do you do when does your home stops being the peaceful haven that you love?

We have been struggling lately with neighbors.  Mr. Art @ Home has a very big heart, and others are trying to take advantage.  I have been angry, and I do not like to feel like this.  I have been coping by staying away from the neighborhood by spending quite a bit of time at the studio.  Athough I have been very productive with my painting, I am through running away from home.  I.  Am.  Done.  I decided yesterday in church that I would spend today cleaning house (I have been neglecting chores because I haven't been home), and set very strict boundaries with neighbors.

The peace in our home has been under attack.  I have had it.  I am taking a stand, and I would appreciate any advice you would care to share with me.  I have tried very hard to maintain a positive blog because I am a very positive person.  I have stayed away from blogging lately because of my attitude and the negative drama around here.  I do apologize for the rant.  I will return tomorrow with a My Happy List post, and I will promise to try to put this behind me.

Wishing you peace during this Holy Week.

Blessings!
Ricki Jill    

14 comments:

  1. Hi Ricki! On the positive side, when people continuously seek help from your home, it only means that you are blessed. Your family is perceived as bountiful in all aspects. You are "full" and blessed that's why people sought help from your home. However, I believe that continuous generosity is tiring and worst, very prone to becoming taken advantage. We are only humans, we feel hurt. I am not the best adviser, but I can be a listener. The best words I could leave you is to always listen and follow your heart. Do what you feel is right and best for you and your family. Do your best to handle the situation and God will take care of the rest.

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  2. I sure hope things improve for you soon. I know it's been a difficult time and I am sorry it has affected your home and family. I'm sending BIG HUGS...if that helps just a little bit. And I'm hoping this week will bring changes for the good. Love, Diane ♥

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  3. I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I am very lucky to have a wonderful community to live in but I have been there. I remember at our old house I would drive around the block a few times if I saw the neighbor outside waiting for him to go in! It's a terrible feeling. You are right, home is supposed to be a safe place! You have a right to vent about it.

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  4. Its hard for me to comment on the situation without knowing what the invasion or trouble is but I certainly hear your pain and frustration through your writing, maybe if you separate yourself from them by having no contact with them it might improve the problem, but its always hard when its nirghbors, some times I think I feel its best not to even get close to the neighbors, sad but true.You can't control who lives in your neighbor hood, unless you lived where we did, 20 miles from everyboday, now we live in an apartment building in a condo, with lots of people but I learned my lesson not to get too friendly, the hard way.Thre are some very strange people in the world.I wish for you all the peace and happiness you can find, stay away from the nastioes and the loonies!

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  5. Hi Ricki Jill, So sorry this is still ongoing for you. I understand how you may feel taken advantage of and such a feeling leaves a pit in your stomach. We all want to help our neighbors as much as we can and I know you well enough to know you would do all you could to help a friend or neighbor. I know things must be way out of hand for you to talk about it here. It's hard to advise on such things, just listen to your heart and God will provide the answers you seek. May you have many Blessings this week before Easter.

    Hugs Ricki Jill
    ~Emily

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  6. I am so sorry you're experiencing this. Home is our sanctuary and should be full of love and peace. Not knowing the exact situations you refer to, I would just recommend taking care of yourself FIRST. Don't do anything that doesn't resonate with your sense of peace.

    Some people are extremely needy and that is sad. You cannot be their saviour, they must learn to deal with their own problems. Recommend they turn it all over to God...and try to do the same yourself. YOU are not here to save the world...you can bless others by being your wonderful self! One can "give" just so much, i.e., time, money, whatever and the person(s) must learn to do for themselves.

    Saying "No" does not have to feel guilty...it's healthy for you. I wish you the very best! Try lighting some white candles in your home, play some soothing music, use sage to cleanse the entire home and ask God and His angels to surround you with peace and protection.

    xo
    Pat

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  7. I am so sorry to hear this. Yes your home is your haven. I believe that you should help when you can, but there comes a time when the person you are helping needs to help themselves. Take your stand and do not back down and do not, do not feel guilty about it. We should help those that need us, but beware of those that abuse that kindness.

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  8. Oh goodness now I get your message earlier, this is horrid, nothing worse than living in a place you do feel comfortable in, hope it gets resolved.

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  9. Good luck to you. We are fortunate that our long-time immediate neighbors are really easy to get along with. A friend once had horrible neighbors and she wound up moving away. That's a drastic step. Don't let the bad apples ruin your sense of tranquility.

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  10. Ugh! I so hate being taken advantage of. I remember dreading the ride down the street when the woman across the way stopped speaking to me with no warning (not that we were ever chummy). I couldn't wait to go inside, but missed my front porch. Right now I don't like a lot of the preteen interactions (mainly because my preteen daughter is not a fan).

    I would imagine that f you feel like it is time to take a stand, then it truly is!

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  11. I'm sorry that you're going through this Ricki Jill, I hope everything works out soon.

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  12. Oh Ricki Jill, I'm sorry you are facing this right now. It is no fun when you feel that home is not a haven anymore, and you don't cherish coming home. May God's peace be with you during this time, and I understand your venting. You are always so positive, so this must really be troubling you. Love you sweet friend.
    ~Sheri at Red Rose Alley

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  13. I'm sorry that you are going through this Ricki Jill. My suggestion to putting a stop to the person who is continually asking for money is to explain in a nice way that you are unable to help them, but suggest some resources in your area that may be able to offer them help. Do they have a church? This is a difficult time for so many people and if they are truly in need there is hopefully a place for them to turn to in your community.
    Hugs,
    Laura

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  14. It's hard to know if I could offer any advice, as I don't really understand the situation. I do know how uncomfortable it is when you feel you are being used or taken advantage of. The neighbor in our precious neighborhood was needy all the time, & The Man & I were growing weary, Her family never even offered a "thank you," or a word of appreciation. It has made us more reluctant to get too close to the neighbors here at our new home. We are friendly, but not overly so. I hope your problem is resolved soon.

    On a happier note, I hope you and your family have a wonderful Easter weekend!
    xo, CAS

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